Grief

How Grief became my friend

To be honest, I’ve never thought that I would have learned to embrace grief because (on 3/12/16) death stole away one of God’s greatest gift from me on this side of earth – my father Yves Desvarieux. As Father’s Day is slowly approaching, I can truly see the lessons I’ve learn from grieving this past year. I have learned that God’s grace is truly sufficient for me in spite of my physical, spiritual, and emotional pain as echoed in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness). In the first few months after my father was no longer here, I was numb, speechless, fragile, vulnerable, and absolutely broken. I could not possibly see my way out of this deep, intense, and burning pain that took residence inside of my heart. I felt like I was experiencing abandonment from God because I knew He could’ve healed my father if He wanted too, but He chose not too.  So day after day, I cried out to God and His grace would meet me in my pain. His Living Word was slowly becoming alive in my bones. In my weakness, I began to experience His strength.  In Isaiah 40:29, it states, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” He would strengthen me in my pain and slowly began lifting up the heavy weight that was oppressing me deep down inside the core of my soul. I was at a place where no man could reached me and  be a comfort to me, but my beloved Savior (Jesus) reached down to me like He did with the man with leprosy in Mark 1:40-41. The man with leprosy came to Him and begged Him while on his knees to heal him.  Jesus, being filled with compassion for him, reached out His hand to him, lifted him off his knees, touched the man, and said to him that He was willing to heal him. In my grieving that is exactly what Christ did for me. He let me know how He was filled with compassion for me because I am His daughter.  Christ knew how much I loved my earthly father and how hard and difficult it was for me to process  all the emotions that I was feeling. Also, He knew how difficult it was for me to accept that I had no choice but to now face my new reality of moving forward without my daddy being part of my world anymore. He didn’t judge the many anger outburst I had towards Him.  Instead He reached down to me and met me in my pain as I begged Him and cried out to Him to take away the pain from me. He touched me, held me, and wiped every tears that continuously fell down liked the pouring rain dropping on my face. He comforted my soul as I pursued after Him through worship and prayer. He reassured me that He was willing to heal me, but I had to trust Him and give myself permission to grieve the first man I have ever loved and continue to love. So today if you are like me who is struggling because you have loss a love one that was special to you or you are facing difficult challenges in your life. I want you to know that grief or suffering of any kind is your friend and not your enemy. Run to Jesus and allow Him to shower you with His compassion and His comfort. Trust Him to walk with you through the process. I guarantee you will not regret it. You will gain a deeper intimacy with Him and He will become more real and nearer to you. Out of this process, you will gain a true authentic relationship with Jesus. So be encouraged on this Father’s day and understand that you are not alone.

4 thoughts on “How Grief became my friend

  1. Amen! It is amazing to see someone with such a great faith. It takes a wise and discerning heart to see that God works even through pain and grief. I am so sorry for your lost, but I’m glad that God has strengthened you through your trials. Also, thank you for sharing your blog with me. I look forward to reading more. Take care and God bless.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s