When Grief interrupted my life

On March 12, 2016, my world changed forever. The unexpected happened. My beloved father, Yves Desvarieux passed away from the curse of cancer. My world was shattered and I was devastated. I just couldn’t believe that this was my story now and I had to now live it out. I never planned this part of my story with God, and He knew that my parents, husband, and children were off limit to me. I thought He understood the unspoken agreement we had. What was I going to do? My world was spinning out of control and I had no ideal where I was to picked life back up. One thing I knew for sure I was no longer the person I once was. I had to learned how to redefined my life because a part of my heart no longer existed in my world any more.  In my despair, the spirit of darkness came in and took over me. I was hopeless. I turned inwardly and my thoughts were the only voices that spoke. I began to ask the same question that John the Baptiste asked when he was sent to prison and experienced doubt. In Matthew 11:2-3, John was in prison. When he heard what Christ was doing, he sent his disciples to Him. They asked Jesus, “Are you the one who was supposed to come? Or should we look for someone else?”. Like John, I was confined in my own imprisonment. I started to doubt God goodness in my life. I knew He could’ve healed my father if He chose too, but He didn’t. I was all torn up in the inside. For 9 months since the diagnosis, and up until my daddy took his last breath, the family prayed. We rally up friends and church members to petition God for a miracle.  We knew that the God we served could do all things. I mean all through scriptures, we read how He healed the sick, raised the dead, and opened up the eyes of the blinds. So why couldn’t He just healed my father. I wrestled with God and wanted to know just like John – Are you really God, the all-powerful one? Do You really care about me like You said in Your word? Is the bible really the blueprint to life? To my surprise, I didn’t get any of my questions answered. What I did experienced was the God of suffering and grace. In 2 Corn 1:3-5, it says, Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. I was overwhelmingly showered with God’s comfort. The more severe the pain became, the more comfort I received from Him. Although I didn’t get my questions answered, I did gain the love, peace, and complete acceptance of my Heavenly Father. His grace was more than enough for me to trust Him with my grief. So my beloved friend, if the pain right now is unbearable and your heart is broken beyond pieces, I want you to know that Christ’s comfort is overflowing to you to received right now in the mist of your pain.

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