Grief

Rejected, Disappointed, yet deeply loved

Rejection is God’s protection for me and God’s provision for them – Lysa Terkeurst.

I can remember at age 7 when my family moved from Haiti to America and the struggles that came with that change early on. I desperately desired to be accepted to this new environment, and yet due to a language barrier and culture differences, my peers quickly rejected me. Until now, I never really thought through how rejection impairs my thinking about my relationship with others and with God.

So from that point on, I found myself on a journey seeking acceptance from others. Each time, I was rejected I shut down and I thought my self-worth was devalued. I was reminded just how good I wasn’t or how I would never belong. I thought that if I gave more of myself to others and just accept whatever they give me it would be okay. I learn that it was better for me to conceal my feelings and the truth from others on how they would treat me or make me feel so that I could be like and accepted. Cause rejection for me was just too hard to process and accept. I did not know it, but I had become a people-pleaser and was sure that if I please everyone then I would be liked.

What I failed to realize is that pleasing people is impossible because with every demand from them either intentionally or unintentionally, I had to sacrifice my wants and myself so that I would be loved and wanted by them.

Then grief entered my life and it led me to depend on my Heavenly Father, God.  I was reminded how Jesus was rejected time and time by his own people. In John 1:11, it states that He came to his own, and his own people did not receive Him.  In Isaiah 53:3, He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief, and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not so. Jesus knew how it felt like to be rejected by men. However, because Jesus hope and purpose was to fulfill His Father’s will. He was able to overcome men’s rejection, be content with His Father’s love, and complete acceptance of him.

Lately, I find myself in that same place of contentment. I went back and look at how God’s love for me and acceptance of me never change. He said I was the apple of His eyes. He created me in His image. He tells me in Psalm 139:14, I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made by Him. I am learning that rejection by men is not as unbearable anymore because the reassurance of knowing that my love and acceptance by God was accomplished through Jesus Christ. His sacrifice on the cross is real to me even more in my times of rejection as it was the day He completed it. Is it hard? Of course, it is.  However, like Jesus, I have to be committed to moving forward in the pursuant of my intimacy with God more than I am willing to hold on to the opinion and validation of men.

 

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